She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
