I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
