This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
