he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
