singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
