yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
worst night to have a conscience
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
