You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
