are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
