from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
