Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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