..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
