trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Congratulations! We have a period
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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