didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
