Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
