woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
