hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
