the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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