Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
