OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
