i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
