Just fell off a train. Bad.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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