Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My ass is underappreciated
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
