are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
