i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
