Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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