am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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