i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
