No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
