jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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