She is in my trunk
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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