Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
