I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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