I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
