just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
