we have pet lesbian snakes
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it hurts more in the daytime
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Someone shattered a urinal.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
