Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dignity is for republicans.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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