Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
