i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
