sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
