I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
