why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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