If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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