two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
