Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
