so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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