guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
