do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
