you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
