just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
