Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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