sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
